So easy to get snagged by this voice that judges you & your choices, says, YOU CAN’T, YOU HAVE TO, OMG, WHAT IF?

When it comes to you figuring out what to eat and what to wear, this inner critic creates so much stress, struggle and doubt everyday.
You start to feel scared, stuck, confused.

You begin to doubt and question everything you are, everything you want, love, desire.

It makes perfect sense that you’d feel that way…

I also have a LOUD, yappy, inner critic, and I have felt the same way.

My Inner Critic’s Name name is, Snippy Snipperstein.
I decided to call her that because that name makes me laugh —
and that makes Snippy seem less evil, less dangerous, less powerful.
Her silly name makes it easier for me to ignore her…defy her!
Or to tell her to, Talk to the hand!

When I hear her yapping, I flick my shoulder with my thumb and forefinger and say, Get out! Bug off! or, Snippy, that’s enough! 

Each time I hear her, I say it again, flicking from shoulder to shoulder and laughing each time.

Each time I FLICK, it breaks the spell a bit. It gives me more spaciousness, more freedom from this inner, critical voice. I feel empowered, and more in control of the moment.

What would happen if you gave your inner critic a name that made you laugh?

Here’s how we can outsmart our yappy, Inner Critic and learn to stay on Our Own Side, over the Holidays, and EVERYDAY:

1. Slow down. Create some quiet time everyday. Lean in to the small voice of your Wisest, Kindest self.
2. Show up for yourself by staying connected — to your insides, your body, your feelings, your needs.
3. Practice daily self-care: Activities that deeply engage, ground, nourish and restore you, like — a nap, a break, a walk, meditation, crayons, dancing, painting, or a new red dress! More self-care = more self-trust.
4. Break some rules. No matter what THE CRITIC says, risk shifting from what you’re supposed to do, to what feels right for YOU to do.
5. Put more attention on kindness, gentleness, self-acceptance and self-trust. Are you feeling a shift? RU more on your side? More determined to listen to your heart/gut?
6. Let go of eating only foods the Gurus label as, “good” and start eating the foods you REALLY want. By letting go, you’re challenging the inner critic
7. Stop moving in ways you hate, ways that feel like punishment, and start moving for fun, silliness, play! Hula hoops, adult ballet (YES to tutus and tiaras), bikes with streamers, whatever your little selves desire. By letting go, you’re challenging the inner critic.
8. Stop wearing clothes the fashion pundits say we “should” wear because we’re this age or this size.
   What if we wore clothes we liked, clothes and styles that are comfortable and makes us happy?
   What if we dressed to express ourselves and not to please…anyone?
   By letting go, we’re challenging the inner critic
9. Strengthen your Self-care and self-trust muscles —
   Self-trust is a super power which reminds you — that you can do hard things & you will be okay, even if you’re temporarily confused/uncertain/uncomfortable, you will eventually find your way.
   The Super Power — Self-trust, challenges the inner critic.
10. These repeated acts of Boldness, Clarity and Confidence confuse your inner critic (haha).
    It fusses, then sulks, then gradually gets quieter, moves farther & farther away…..and you get more and more PEACE.

……..

What can I help with?

The post What’s Your Inner Critic’s Name? appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

During Middle School, High School and College, I struggled with food/body issues.

I avoided my body, avoided the mirror, avoided shopping for clothes. Can you relate?

I wore 20% of my clothes — jeans and T-shirts— 80% of the time.

I didn’t know what to wear.

I needed time to experiment, time to get to know and trust myself.

Here’s why I struggled:

1. I was confused/overwhelmed with all the rules.

2. I had NO Style Confidence: No real sense of myself. I didn’t know what I loved, what made me happy, or what my true style preferences were. My closet was stuffed with clothes, but very few items felt like ME.

3. Totally bored, in a rut. I bought the same items over and over.

4. Too much and not enough. I had clothes that didn’t work with each other, clothes that were too tight or too big. Clothing in colors, fabrics and prints I didn’t like, clothing that made me feel bad about myself.

5. I shopped randomly. I didn’t know what I was looking for. Sometimes, I didn’t even try clothes on.

6. I shopped mindlessly, rushed, especially last minute when I needed clothes for a special occasion.

7. Shopped on impulse. I bought too many trendy clothes and not enough basics.

8. Overly influenced by friends, family and sales people.

9. I repeatedly hoped buying something new would help me feel better about myself.

My relationship with food/body improved when I began paying attention to what I really loved  and wanted to eat.

Later, I used these same skills when selecting clothing.

I noticed what colors, fabrics and silhouettes I was drawn to, which clothes I truly liked and wanted to wear, what styles made me feel happy, confident and authentic, whether or not they were current fashion.

I consistently worked to quiet/calm my inner critic. More and more, I learned to believe in my instincts and trust myself.

And, I’m happy to report that for the last several decades, instead of stress and uncertainty, my closet brings me confidence and joy, because it was curated especially for ME!

Here’s what I want you to know:

Great Style is about expressing your SELF.
So first, you need to know yourself. Then, stay true to yourself.
What do you love?
What makes you happy?
What clothes, colors and fabrics make you feel strong and confident?
What are you wearing when you feel most like you?

When you shop:

1. Allow plenty of time. Go at your own pace. Try everything on. Breathe.
2. Shop intentionally. Know what you’re looking for. Notice what lights you up.
3. Shop for only 1 item at a time. ONLY buy 1 item that you TRULY LOVE.
4. Trust your gut. If it’s not a clear YES — its’ a NO!
5. Stay on your own side. Stay in the moment. Be KIND.
6. Ignore The Inner Critic. You deserve clothes you love, clothes you feel great in — clothes that make you smile — and are for the body you have right now.

Watch the reel on my IG page: https://www.instagram.com/susanweissberrycoaching/

I love helping women
shift from
stressing about what to wear, to
building a fun and functional wardrobe
of coordinated, “confidence” pieces
they love and feel amazing in.

How can I help you
with your
Style Goals & Challenges?

Please scroll down to,
“Send me a message,”
and let me know.
Thanks!

The post Closet Full of Clothes & Nothing to Wear? appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

• I don’t really know what I enjoy/like/want to eat.

• I’ve been buying/eating the same foods for a long time. I’m bored/ in a rut.

• I’m confused by all the ** RULES** about what to eat/not eat.

• I don’t buy what I really want. I just buy food I think I should eat.

• My refrigerator is so packed with food I can’t really see what’s in there!

TRY THESE:

1. Make Space:  Take everything out of your refrigerator, put all foods on the counter & organize by categories: fruits, veggies, protein, starches, desserts, beverages, etc. What do you have lots of, and what’s missing, i.e. do you have lots of fruits and veggies, very little/only protein, no starches? Notice foods that you have multiples of, foods you keep buying — and never eat?

2. Prioritize:  Most of us eat 20% of the food in our refrigerator 80% of the time. To change that, look at each item on your counter (Step 1) and ask, Do I love this food? Do I enjoy eating it? Does it make me feel happy, nourished, satisfied? Only return food to your refrigerator that you truly love.

3. Buy What You Love — With a Plan:  Shop with intention. Before you go to the grocery store, ask: If I could eat exactly what I wanted for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, what would I choose? Visualize these foods on plates in front of you. How do you feel? Make lists of all foods needed to make these “plates.” Only buy foods on your list — foods that you truly want to eat, that you enjoy, that satisfy and nourish you.

4. Organize: Refrigerator Reboot — Unpack your new food. Place same types of foods together in one place in refrigerator, (fruits, veggies, etc.), or place foods together that will be used to make complete “plates.” Look into your organized refrigerator — How does it feel to have all the foods you need to make complete, simple meals/snacks?

5. Work With Your Mind: We all have an inner, critical, fear-based voice that yaps and yaps, repeating untrue stories & warnings which create uncertainty and anxiety about our food choices and make us feel guilty about buying/eating what we love. The Mindset goal is to learn to pay attention to and trust our intuitive voice, our true, authentic voice, rather than fear. Trusting ourselves will help us identify and claim what we love.

Eating can be simple and easy. Be patient and kind. With practice and guidance we can learn to listen to and trust ourselves. Forget The ** RULES.** Be true to you. Eat what you love. Be curious, brave, open, playful. And confident!

The post Refrigerator packed with food and there’s nothing to eat? appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

Fifteen years of depriving and feeling miserable. The more I dieted the less
I connected with myself, trusted myself, my body, my gut, & the less I
actually took care of ME.

Here’s what I know:

Diets are external rules, eating prescriptions made by people who have
never met you, do not know you, what you need, what you like.

Self-care is a loving response to your internal needs in the moment. Self-
care is personal, individual, flexible, fluid.

Diets are one size fits all.

Self-care says: I hear you. What do you need? How can I help?

Diets say, You have to have an apple for Breakfast on Monday. Those are
the rules.

Self-care is compassionate. Open. Intuitive.

Diets are rigid.

Self-care is expansive.

Diets are restrictive.

How do you want to live?

Ready to stop dieting and start living? Send me a message and let’s talk.

The post How Do you Want to Live? appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

“Where we think we need more self-discipline,
we usually need more self-love.”

~Tara Mohr

As a recovering perfectionist (you too?), this quote speaks to me. OMG. We are so effin hard on ourselves! Expect so much from ourselves…Always!

What if we slowly raised our tolerance for more kindness, gentleness, self- trust? What if instead of *Discipline* we tried, *Showing Up* with the Self- care question: “What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

Sometimes, paying bills is the most loving thing to do bc — well—the rent — and — ending procrastinating ends the painful grip of resistance. Sometimes, getting groceries is the most kind way to show up, and, at other times, napping, walking, painting, dancing is the most loving thing to do.

We learn how to show up for ourselves by staying connected — to our insides, our feelings, our needs. Yes, that critical mind will carry on/fuss if we’re not doing what it considers *BIG, important things* every moment. Breathe! Use your tools for interrupting that snippy, inner critic & it will eventually back off.

Showing up w/compassion = self-love = self-care.

What’s the most loving thing you’ve done for yourself recently and how did it feel?

Photo Credit: SHAYAN rti – Unsplash

The post Less Discipline — More Love appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

Afterwards, I picked through racks of used books, art supplies, and then found my way to a consignment shop that was utterly new to me.
(@urbanexchangenh) OMG – A visual and consumer feast! Dozens of delicious pieces from a favorite designer that were so well priced, I couldn’t resist buying myself many birthday presents! In that hopeful moment, on that happy post birth-day, I could imagine wearing my fancy, new, black dress — out for dinner, to theater, a gallery opening, a holiday party. And then things closed down again, and so…The dress is still hanging —unworn (of course, happily, it did have a life before me and I like to imagine it was a wild, fascinating one!)

I’ve decided to keep my dress on the Outside of my closet, facing me, where I can admire it every day, touch the tissuey layers of fabric. Dream of someday. This dress still feels like hope. A beautiful reminder. It calls to me…SOON…we will dine out, party, gather and enjoy. Perhaps life will not be exactly “normal,” still, it will be FAMILIAR. Soon, our lives will feel more like something precious we once held, and loved, and sometimes struggled inside, returned to us. My dress waits patiently, like a passport, a ticket, a friend — and is ready, as soon as the world is.

What’s helping you feel hopeful these days?

Photo Credit:  @anniespratt on Unsplash

The post Sometimes Hope is a New Dress appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

~ SW Berry

It’s that time of the year — UGH! — the Diets are coming! If you’re sick of food fear-mongering — I see you! Instead of following an old, worn-out path, what if this year, you stay true to you? True to what you love, true to what works for you. What if this year, you get real about what you truly want: A life that feels authentic; a reason to wake up every morning that isn’t about weight and food. A life where you eat what you love!!!! Where you’re no longer holding your breath, looking for the perfect diet to “fix” you. Let this be the year you create a big, badass life through curiosity, experimentation, self-trust, compassion, and action, by moving through old fears, habits, internal stories, & not so comfortable comfort zones. If you wish food could be a pleasure, not a problem, and want to enjoy eating without worry — click the button below, send me a message  & let’s set up a Complimentary Call.

photo credit: Nathan Dumlao @nate_dumlao

The post True to You appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

Perfectionism is a draining, pointless pursuit. I’ve found that what works best for me when I hear it growl, is to stay on my side, and not allow that critical, inner perfectionistic voice to be the boss of me. When I hear it chastising me, trying to make me feel not enough, I say, So what! Like, if I forgot to mail a bill, or dropped a plate, or overworked a painting, and it starts fussing, I take a deep breath and say, So what!

Speaking those words out loud makes me laugh, makes me feel stronger, more able to hold my space. I repeat and repeat until this Voice backs off, and then I cheer for myself, eat some cookies, and continue on My Way.

How do you encourage your critical, perfectionistic inner voice to take a hike?

Photo credit: Galen Crout – Unsplash

The post Challenging Perfectionism appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

Intuitive eating and intuitive painting are both practices of moving past doubt, fear and uncertainty. Both are ways to be Mindful, to learn about ourselves — What makes us happy? What do we love? Where do we feel stuck or afraid? What holds us back from inspired action? They provide a path to listen to ourselves, and take action on what we truly love, want, what makes us happy.

Because in the end, it’s about pleasing ourselves, right? It’s about creating more freedom, joy and peace.

Where in your life do you have lots of freedom, play, self-trust,  and where would you like to create more?

The post Creating More….. appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.

To me, it means: A willingness to look at old things in a new way, to apply multiple Points of View, like, when painting, I turn the piece often so I keep seeing it differently. Creativity is about breaking rules, dropping The Story about what IS and what IS NOT *allowed.* Working with and through my doubts and fears, facing my perfectionism, & ignoring my *not good enough,*

I’ve become braver, more willing to trust myself, my guts, my impulses. Like a child, I can play in the moment, free in the knowledge that, regardless of what my Snarky, Critical Mind says, there is no WRONG.

Creativity skills have not only been “useful” in my every day life — they have changed my life — completely. My life is bigger, more richly textured, layered, fun, exciting, personal and authentic.

Where do you feel especially creative  in your life right now?

Photo Credit: Michelle Henderson – Unsplash

The post Risking Play appeared first on Susan Weiss Berry Coaching.